The only person I continually think about when I am drunk or sober is jc. I actually thought this guy mc was about something but it seems he is only about the nasty.  I don’t know what these guys think are the right thing.  My goodness, I pray to god for decernment because I don’t want to be hurt. Chiiling at this space called tonic because jessica have a get together event here. It works in with my plans because I was at a seminar at the hotel pennsylvania. I enjoyed it….it makes me think of wealth acquisitions and what I have to do to get there. I have a lot of work to do.  I pray that my idea will generate revenue and work out.  I know money will help me to accomplish a lot of my goals and aspirations.

My mom

My mom, not really a happy person right now.  She told me she is sick in her mind.  I don’t know where that comes from.  She is worried about the house again, and being homeless.  She also feels she is going to get audited soon.  I don’t really want to deal with this right now.  She also is upset the house isn’t the way she wants it but I don’t touch anything because I don’t want her pulling something out the garbage again and putting it to the side.

I am going to do my best to clean up and I tell her not to stress, you know? Because we will be all right.  I just want to buy the house and have her not stress about that.  The only way to buy the house is to have a great business idea and sell it for a lot of money.  I also want to have input on how it is run and the flow of it.  I know I am sitting on a good idea and I am doing the necessary things to make sure it just isn’t talk but it is in motion.


I want JC around to talk to…I don’t know why it can’t be anyone else but him but in time it will have to be.  If he wanted to be in my life he would have reached out to me but he hasn’t so I am just chillen right now. Every day will get easy which will lead to a week and then every week will get easier and that will lead to a month.

I am truly blessed and I am going to keep on working hard to get the job done, for my family.

Concerned that the check has not reached here yet from Easton.  It was being generated the week of June 22 and today is the 3rd of July.  I haven’t seen anything yet.  My event is July 21, 2011 and I have worked really hard to promote it so I am not going to cancel it.  I feel things are going to be really close but I just have to learn patience and hopefully Courtney understands and don’t stress me over this.


I am becoming a better person. In mannerism and I want to continue that path.  I don’t want to do anything that harms my body and I just want to move forward.

Granny-sitting again

They called my grandma’s mom “Jo-misses” she was half-Indian.  Her father was a black man and in that time you couldn’t marry out of your race. So he went away so his name was Victor.  He worked on the ship to bring foodstuff to Jamaica.  She was like her grandma prayed for her when she was in her bed and was like she was going to be okay

Grandma was like this body to too pretty to touch. No man could hit her. She did what she did in the factory sewing her clothes and no one can tell her anything.   She have a father who she loves and he loves her.  There was nothing she had to worry about when it comes to friends because she had her seven kids.  That is all she needed. She turned a lot of rings down in her life and she has no regret.

Treat other people kids good and your kids will be blessed.  Grandma was like she never cursed any bad word.  She will talk to her next-door neighbor and will give her child lunch money or something like that.


Today, thank god money was put into my account today. I did some of the necessary things and etc. I wrote it down in my budget book.   I needed to note that I started Catchafire around December 2011.  From there I used there $3000 membership subscription and it has been an investment.  I believe I have a million dollar idea that is being helped tremendously by their help.

Mike is holding a study event in brooklyn tomorrow, I am going to go.  I have to work with others and my test isn’t until July 15th, 2011 at 8:00 AM. Sort of worried but if I prepare with them I will be fine.

I am excited my sister and brother is coming up with their significant others.  I am glad to be around my family more because that is all I have on the a daily basis.  People will come and go but family is going to be there for you regardless.

I think about JC all the time and just want him to be around and be with me on this journey but he can’t right now.  I know he has a lot of things to handle and he just doesn’t care about me.  I am going to give myself six months to see what I am going to do and where I am going to go and he might come back into my life later.  I don’t know. I might not be attracted to him later and that will be good enough for me.  But I doubt it.  I think that attraction will always be there.

I am giving Sano a $150 gift and $150 loan. She is going to pay that back to deserie in installments of #15 for 10 months.  That is important because then D will feel someone is thinking about her once a month.  Also, it will do Sano good. I am going to set up stuff for my family afterwards and make sure we are successful.  Things will be okay for us I know it.

My grandma is still up at 10:59 pm because she cannot go to sleep.  She misses my grandpa sleeping next to her and I am sure not sleeping in the same bed as my grandma. I just don’t feel like it. I guess, I like my space.  Or more so, it will just feel weird, you know?

Pops is at Jacobi and he says he is okay. He has gout and they say he has to stop drinking alcohol and eating read meat.  Lol, my pops is the cutest. He asked if Zenovia is okay and I was like yea, she misses you.  He also told me to tell my mom to stop worrying because she had this look on her face. I don’t know why she worries so much at times.  She just needs to relax.

I am going to do my TreasuryDirect thing my consistently.  There is no way around being wealthy besides saving continually and looking for good investments.  I am reading the Richest Man in Babylon and it is okay.  They have some nifty sayings in there that I will share later. This was J’s idea and it is something I will thank him about later.

I ended up staying with my grandma because she cannot go to sleep. It is about 11:34.  She cannot go to sleep without grandpa because she is used to having my grandpa next to her.  Some times I feel that she will die when pops die or vice versa.  They cannot live apart for so long because they are tied to each other in a bond greater than something else.  She walked out of her room to turn on the light then she wen tback to the living room.  Mind you she went upstairs to get me because she didn’t want to be in her room by herself.   Sigh.  All of this will I try to figure out how to write a business plan.  Another thing I realize that I don’t like weird smells. I think older people smell weird and not no diss on their part but it is just how it goes with me.  I guess as I see my grandparents through their older times I just get used to it and that is how it goes. Well, I will just type n my laptop on this side of the bed, the side my pops sleeps on, and hopefully my grandma wonders back to her side of the bed and go to sleep and I will go to my room.

My grandma “isn’t used to this lonely life”, she is saying she is a “big woman who needs company” because we took are “only friend away”.  Wow, I want to have that at 80 something. My little company who I will be very happy with. The funny thing is she keeps on saying she isn’t going to disturb me and she is going to keep to herself. Lol, she doesn’t bother me.

Harbor yacht, the end

Sigh, what is going on in other people’s heads? I was chillen with the crew and all that, all mags friends.  And I saw this damsel in distress so I pulled her away and was like, let’s goooooo! It just seem like a bad situation.  I was like yo, chill she is married and it ended for that point.  Come to find out she really was married and I think he gets abusive drunk or sober and try to figure what is worse?  So, I told the truth according to me but even that seem to upset him… the girl wanted to go to the bathroom again and the stalker was going to do his grabbing thing again. I intercede and was like what’s good, her husband is ready to do something and he was like I don’t care. He can come. I was thinking whhhaaaaattttttt! I don’t know why guys will fight opp and it isn’t yours. He was like she never told me that, I was thinking look at her left hand. But I was like, you are right to everything he said.  While the chick escaped to the bathroom…. I whispered to her later, I want you to come to my event without your husband I don’t want him there. I am telling you I can’t stand abusers and their low self-esteems.  She was like I didn’t want him to come….ah well, if he would have intercepted that guy grabbing her it might have been ugly for her, not the guy …. woooooo, I am so freaking upset and there is nothing that I can do.  I think I am fine not meeting people – just hang around me when you are cheery so I won’t feel like protecting you if you are sad or hurt.  I don’t have the capacity or capability to. I just want to talk and see J because he wll know what to do, or will he? Does anyone really know what to do in a case like this?

We want and ate at diner on 23rd by mc d’s

Harbor yacht, the start

Well, thank god I bought a book … okay naw, let me stop. It isn’t going to be that bad.  Sigh, friendship is a great motivator I tell you.  I think we need people that tells others you don’t look ok.  They should tell them we will work on your appeal 🙂


I am a walking liability. There is no assestability to me.  At this moment in time I have negative 40 dollars in chase. 2.88 in mcu and don’t know why at 28 I am fiancially so irresonsible.  I have to work on it because I will not be able to have a great organization.

The outlook for money staying in my pockets the next couple of days isn’t that great. I am giving someone a $300 gift b/c she is doing great things and life is bearing down on her.  Life is bearing down on me too so I need to hold on to my money.  I will like to say this is the last gift I will give but nothing is 100 percent.

More later about liability

Grandma Funny 1

Well, my grandma is like you grow taller and taller every day.  And every day I tell her I do ….


She also is complaining that my grandpa doesn’t need to go to the doctor because he can sap on his knee or leg medicine rather than go to the doctor.  She says they make you sit and sit and never see you 🙂


She is like 82 years old. I will be grandma sitting for a while and then I have to go show my face at an event.

Kicking me out

My gramps is cute. He wants to kick me out of his house.  And then he tells me the house is mine. Smh, as I get older I feel so more connected to family and all the events we have.I really feel no family event bothers me any more.  Although, they will have me running around doing everything but so is life.  When I get 80 something or 40 something I will tell the younger ones to run around also.

My grandparents – grandsitting

My grandparents are the cutest thing laying down together. I am sort of grand-sitting because my pops can’t get around. I have to lift him into his chair to allow him to watch his tv. They have been together for like 65 years… they are cute. I want that with JC one day. He is the dude I have a crush on. More on him later he will pop up numerous times. So yea, I want seven kids like my grand parents also, I think. If child labor is going to be crazy I am not doing it.